Warning

Q-tips can be dangerous. And addictive.

Now, I'm not saying the cotton swab itself is dangerous. I'm saying the cotton swab operators are. Take me, for example. I use a Q-tip from time to time.

Okay, daily.

But I have now put the quietus on cotton bud usage. A few days ago, I performed my routine ear swabbing. As usual there's nothing there. There never is. Whatever is supposed to be in there is resting at the base of my skull where it's accumulated all these years from my probing. I'm sure I have a wax ring around my neck.

So, back to my routine swabbing . . . Disclaimer! - Read at your own risk.

I pushed the Q-tip until I heard this squishing sound and thought "Prima, I'll get that raunchy water out of my ear". You ENT's out there hear me.

And just for the record and potential ramification, I believe the Q-tip manufacturer does not recommend sticking the swab in your ear, but does refer to it as "the ultimate beauty tool". Hmmm.

So, from that moment on (the one when I used the Q-tip improperly), my ear began popping like I'm in an airplane. You know that pressure that builds up when you take off and land. Except I'm only occasionally going up the stairs. They really aren't that high.

Naturally, I immediately consult the internet medical sites only to learn I may have ruptured my eardrum. That squishy sound . . . well, you get the picture.

This = bad idea.

So now, every time I lay down, turn over in bed, yawn, and swallow, my ear pops. It's getting less frequent and I can hear as well as I ever could so I surmise it's healing. And delightedly it's had no effect on my selective hearing.

But I have learned a good lesson. Q-tips in the hands of people like me are hazardous.

And I may require therapy for the onset of swabbing withdrawal.

I told you they were not only dangerous, but addictive. Consider yourself warned.