Kosher

Monday was the last day of the Jewish holiday of Passover. I don't know that 'cause I'm Jewish. I know that 'cause I looked it up on the internet.

And because we bought a babka. Incidentally, I have no idea why the bakery spelled babca with a "c" since there are almost no words in Dutch with a "c". The "k" is in just about every word - including babka. And furthermore, the "c" is worth FIVE points in Dutch Scrabble. The equivalent of FIVE points for a "k" in American Scrabble, ironically.

It (the babka) wasn't chocolate, but it was really good.

And if you're a Seinfeld fan, you know exactly what I mean.

I also ran across this at the grocery store. And many more similar products with the same disclaimer. I don't even know what to say about that.

It did make me curious about what is and is not kosher and the chief rabbinate and all. So, naturally, I looked it up and here is the basic . . .

Kosher Kode

1 - Certain animals may not be eaten at all including by-products of these forbidden animals.

> I do not have a current list of the forbidden animals and I don't think I want one.

2 - Of the animals that may be eaten, the birds and mammals must be killed in accordance with Jewish law.

> Apparently birds and mammals are not forbidden and I do not know the specifics of this law of killing.

3 - All blood must be drained from meat and poultry or broiled out of it before it is eaten.

> I think we can all agree on that one.

4 - Certain parts of permitted animals may not be eaten.

> That too should apply for the rest of us.

5 - Fruits and vegetables are permitted, but must be inspected for bugs (which cannot be eaten).

> Who can argue with that?

6 - Meat cannot be eaten with dairy. Fish, eggs, fruits, vegetables and grains can be eaten with either meat or dairy.

> Pretty rare to substitute steak 'n milk for steak 'n ale so I can see how this makes perfect sense.

7 - Utensils (including pots and pans and other cooking surfaces) that have come into contact with meat may not be used with dairy, and vice versa.

> Basic kitchen etiquette. Don't cut up the chicken with the butter knife.

8 - Utensils that have come into contact with non-kosher food may not be used with kosher food. This applies only where the contact occurred while the food was hot.

> Overload. I need to read that one again. . . and maybe again?

9 - Grape products made by non-Jews may not be eaten.

> Does that include drinking too? There aren't many French Jews and the French make pretty good grape products. I would need to know this.

10 - There are a few other rules that are not universal.

> Ooooh, that really runs the gamut.

And of course, this spiked my curiosity about Yiddish which turns out is a combination of German mixed with Hebrew and a few other languages thrown in. So since Dutch is sorta like German . . .

Here are just a few words to add to your vocabulary:

chutzpah - extreme arrogance

kvetsch - complain

mishegas - insanity

nosh - nibble; a light snack

shlep - to drag something you don't really need (like that extra suitcase)

schlemiel - clumsy, inept person

schmendrik - a jerk

shmooze - chat; make small talk

schmuck - self-made fool

spiel - long, involved sales pitch

tchatchke - knick-knack; little toy

Disclaimer: these words probably have a dozen meanings; use them at your own risk.

Shalom!