Battle of the Bulge

After a lot of shopping and trying on, here they are! Whatayathink?

Too plastic-y?

Too red? ,

Too lace-y?

Too shiny?

Not black?

Perfect?

Juuuuuust kidding. Not that I have a problem with those, for the record.

I did buy some, but only because a nice sales girl was willing to work with my clunker calves. She reminded me of Amanda. If you don't know Amanda, I'll describe her like this. Adults don't come smaller than Amanda. She was a little bitty thing, but strong - I'll explain later.

Anyway, I picked out the ones I liked (not black!) and she fetched my size from the back. I tried them on and quickly determined, like aaaaall the others, the calf was not quite roomy enough. I mean there was an inch gap. No way, right?

The nice salesgirl said "Let me see". So I tried them back on and she said "Let me try something". Obviously looking for a challenge, she again went to the back to fetch something. But what? A calf-reducing shoe horn?

She returned with a tennis shoe string. You can imagine my wonderment. How is this shoe string gonna take an inch off my calf? I put the boots back on and she slipped this shoe string through the eyelet on the zipper and carefully forced the zipper up and not once pinching my calf as it tried so hard to bulge out of this cylinder.

I was expecting an explosion any minute, but alas my calf stayed in the boot and I was even able to stand and walk around. She suggested we try the other one before making any rash decisions. Which, I must hand it to her, was certainly a good idea. This same shoe-string method was used and voila, another calf safely squeezed into a boot. And like she said, they will only get bigger (the boots - not my calves :).

Naturally, I said "sold" and we proceeded to the checkout! Of course I had to bring her home with me since I will never be able to do this by myself. Thanks, sales girl who reminds me of Amanda. I now have a new use for my old shoe strings.

Oh . . . and here they really are.