The scathing letter . . . deel 2

So as I was saying . . .

I added "present ourselves to the official integration office" to my To Do list and there it remained for about 2 months. After all, the scathing letter said we had 3 months so why go ahead and get it over with when you can worry about it longer, right Jim?

So Jim comes home early last week and says "I thought we would try to go by the official integration office and present ourselves".

Okay. So I gather up the passports, identity cards, and try to figure out what our penalty will be for not being able to offer our first born . . .

After getting lost, phoning the office, going to the wrong place, we finally make it to the right place. This lady escorts us into her office and asks for our paperwork. She taps away at her computer and says to me "Kadden, let me explain to you about the integration program." She pulls out a paper and begins to tell me the 3 steps. I feel like it should be 12 steps since I may need it by the time this is over.

She says I can

1) learn Belgium government, culture, etc

2) learn the Dutch language, and

3) something else I can't remember because my head is spinning!

Now, this all sounds like a good thing, right? I would like to learn more about all of the above, but here's the catch. . .

"Kadden, entering into the integration program requires that you sign a contract agreeing to attend not less than 80% of the meetings and if you fail to attend, you could be fined."

Or behind Door #2, since in my situation, integration is not required, I can opt out and she will close my file.

Did I hear OPT OUT?!

and CLOSE MY FILE?!

Yeah, that's what I heard.

I look at Jim and we agree to "go with Door #2."

She proceeds to explain the same information verbatum to Jim who also, as you probably guessed, opts for Door #2.

Unfortunately we can't take the government and culture classes without signing our life away, but we can take the Dutch language classes with no penalties attached - so far as we know. So that's what we decided to do.

The nice lady who let us "opt out" and "closed our file" escorted us across the hall to the House of Dutch. Another lady asks for our paperwork and taps away at the computer. She then says we will be taking a logic test.

What?! A test?! The opt-out-close-our-file lady said NOTHING about a test. By this time, it's way past happy hour, I don't think rationally or logically most any time, and I haven't been test-ready for 25 years!

You see. I told you I would be signing up for the 12 steps before this is over.

She pulls out the test and . . .

To be continued . . .