Was Dr. Seuss Dutch?

He was actually an American, but certainly must have known some Dutch. His grandparents were from Germany and while Dutch is not as harsh as German, it is very similar. From time to time, particularly when we are in our Flemish class or when I overhear an animated conversation by two teenaged girls, I feel like I'm listening to someone read from a Dr. Seuss book.

A while ago I did a similar post on quirky Flemish words and Dr. Seuss. We owned pretty much all the Dr. Seuss books and read them often to our kids. Well, we read lots of books to our kids.

And then there were some we read only once.

We worry about what kids see on TV and that's probably warranted, but have you ever given a second thought about the "classic" children's stories we read to them?

We had a beautifully illustrated book of Mother Goose rhymes. We read these a few times until I started really thinking about what I was reading.

Like this one . . .

Goosey, goosey, gander,

Whither dost thou wander?

Upstairs and downstairs

And in my lady's chamber.

There I met an old man

Who wouldn't say his prayers;

I took him by the left leg,

And threw him down the stairs.

Threw him down the stairs? Is there a moral here I missed? Honey, did you say your prayers? You know what happens when you don't.

But Mother Goose doesn't have the market on strange. The Brothers Grimm wrote more than their fair share of frightening tales.

Take Rumplestiltskin.

Starts off with a miller lying about his daughter spinning straw into gold. A dwarf comes along and does it for her. First for a necklace, then a ring, and then of course the first born child. Fortunately she figures out his name and all is well. I guess.

Sweetie, don't lie - especially if you want to keep your first born child some day.

Or how about Little Red Riding Hood.

Sweet little girl goes to grandmothers only to find she's been eaten by a wolf. The woodcutter saves the day, but not the story.

Best to stay out of the forest, dear.

Or Hansel and Gretel, a young brother and sister who discover a house of candy and cake in the forest. A cannabalistic witch basically fattens the two of them up until she decides they are fat enough to eat. Somehow they survive, but still!

Remember Red Riding Hood - don't go walking in the forest.

Now, if that's not bad enough, the Good Book has some pretty bizarre stories as well. We had a book of Bible stories and it only took one time reading from it for me to put it away forever.

Like Judges 19:22-30. I believe this story goes something like this. A man and his concubine are wandering the streets when they decide to seek shelter for the night. A kind man lets them stay, but that night a group of men show up and want to have sex with the man. Not wanting to offer up his male houseguest, he offers up his virgin daughter instead. That's not enough so the owner now offers the man's concubine to the group. After the brutal rape, she bleeds to death. Now if that weren't bad enough, he chops her up and gives the pieces to the 12 tribes of Israel. I won't even attempt to understand the message here.

I'll assume taken in context, there is a perfectly good explanation for this. I'm no Bible scholar. I grew up Catholic, after all.

Here's another good one. 4 Kings 2:23-24. Elijah, though a wise man, is cursed with baldness. One day he is attacked by a group of children making fun of his baldness. So he curses them in the name of the Lord and poof, two bears appear and maul the 42 children to death.

Heavens! Okay, these probably weren't in the Bible story book we owned, but still.

Again, taken in context, no doubt there's a perfectly good explanation. I just don't know what it is. You know, growing up Catholic and all.

Even Beatrix Potter came up with some pretty scary yarns. And I couldn't come close to doing justice in the way Randi did in this post :)

So, back to Dr. Seuss. I'm no Seuss scholar either, but Green Eggs and Ham. Try them, you'll like them. So Sam-I-Am finally tries them and likes them. That's it.

The Cat in the Hat. Entertains two kids on a rainy day. Makes a huge mess then cleans it up. If you make a mess, have fun and clean it up.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Even this one with a bitter creature trying to prevent Christmas from coming ends up welcomed in Whoville realizing gifts aren't what it's all about.

Fah who for-aze. Dah who dor-aze.

Moral of this post. Teach your kids a few Dutch words . . .

I zit on the zitbank (sofa) with my hondje (doggy). He blaft (barks) and kwispelt (wags his tail) when bezoekers (visitors) arrive. I kijk (look) at him and glimlach (smile). We are now off to the winkel (store) boodschappen te doen (grocery shopping). So many dingen (things) to kopen (buy). Wortels (carrots), kip (chicken), kokosnoot (coconut). We wait at the kassa (checkout) to betalen (pay) and we get wisselgeld (the change) back. We lopen (walk) home again. The End. Knuffels and kusjes (Hugs and kisses)!

and by all means, read Dr. Seuss to them.