Hello from Shortview

Today is Nov 22 and it's our anniversary of 36 years.  A day of celebration. Congratulations to us! As I've said many times, but not nearly enough - no one is more fortunate than me. No one.

It's also two days from Thanksgiving.  The irony that we are back in the States and will celebrate much like we did for the last seven years - at home with ourselves.  A day like any other.  

It's obvious I've pretty much abandoned my blog so this is more a personal journal for me now as I will probably be the only one to read it.  This year has been one of many highs and a few lows for us. And I don't want to forget.

I debated about posting something regarding the election, but since this format has become a record of sorts and because it had a profound effect on me . . . I'm compelled to record.

Nearly two years ago, Jim felt he was nearing completion of the goals he set when we moved to Belgium, taking on the challenge of managing a foreign manufacturing plant.  Earning the trust and respect of the employees and encouraging them to do what he knew they were capable of.  He's good at that, but he wouldn't want me to say it.

Soon after leaving Belgium, I received several emails from some of Jim's co-workers.  Like this one . . .

Everything will be different now, I will miss him badly…his unconditional concern for people.  He did his work all these years with a devotion I have never discovered in other managers.  I will be thinking of you all when your families are hugging you both when they see you.  I can now, more than ever, imagine what they had to miss all these years.

Our one to two year Belgian stint turned into nearly seven.  It was home and we were happy there. But we aren't Belgian and here we are.

I must say, if I had had any idea we would be right here, right now . . .

But, I must remind myself - this is exactly what we wanted.  All of us.  We were ready to return. Anxious, excited and ready.

That feels different now and it makes me somber.  I want to be content again because we Americans do the right thing.  Proud of our country again because we are advocates for all. Grateful because we are good. Hopeful because what else is there?

Much of our new life in Texas has been good. More time together as a family has been a long time coming  - which was our whole motivation for returning.  We have a nice home with all the trimmings.  No needs and few wants.  We are healthy and fortunate.  First world problems only. Life is good.  Frankly, I have no idea what anything else feels like and I am grateful.

But at this moment, I shake my head and question everything - and that makes me bitter.  We have made many moves in our 36 years of marriage and never regretted any of them.  This move may be our last and I don't want to be second-guessing it.  Now or ever.  Life is too short.

I wonder . . . were we so far removed, by being abroad for so long, that we didn't see this coming? 

I've become way too familiar with words I hoped I would never need to describe us.  Like . . .

misogynist (prejudice against women) 
xenophobe (fear of foreigners)

bigot (intolerance)
hypocrit (feigning to be what you're not)
alt-right (all of the above and more)

We're better than that.  These words describe other people.  Not us.  Did anyone ever ask "what makes us great?"  We were already great, weren't we?  Or at least heading in the "great" direction.

As journalist S. A. Aiyar of the Economic Times said in his newly invented Trumpism . . .

"I grabbed America by the pussy and she said yes."

Make you cringe when you read that?

Apparently not enough for most of us.  It's certainly cringe-worthy for me.  Doesn't that say something about a person's character?  I'm reminded of a news article superimposing Jimmy Carter saying those same words. It's horrifying and unimaginable, right? Yet here we are.

What happened to all that progress I saw from a distance?

Now that the dust has settled, the election data shows us who they are and it scares me.  They scare me. This new normal is devoid of respect for others and rife with contempt for anyone who has an opinion other than their own.  Put the lid on the melting pot.

Where is the tolerance and inclusion and compassion for EVERYONE?  I know, the world is a complicated place and I've never experienced intolerance, exclusion or animosity, but is the golden rule an option now?    

I've joked that the internet would be the death of us all.  I'm not sure that's a joke anymore.  I'm not a member of facebook and never have been, but recent statistics show that a whopping 62% of adults get their news from social media.  Incredible. You do know that anyone can say anything whether it's true or not, right? There's no fact checking.  Just click and forward it on to the next idiot.  How did we become so irresponsible?  Reinventing history.  Focusing on trivia and distractions.

As George Carlin put it . . . "never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups".  Let's read that again.

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

Too many Americans obviously wanted something different and that's understandable up to a point, but not with the options this time around.  To sell your soul . . . and mine?  That's disturbing.  How naive I was not to realize just how many imbeciles there are out there.

In the words of John Oliver . . . "turns out hindsight, much like the year we're all desperately looking forward to, is 2020".

We don't know what lies ahead and we will never know what might have been.  I'm ready to lose this wave of sadness.  Even if you weren't a fan of Clinton and even if you thought it would be "more of the same", how did we get to this point - willing and ready to risk everything?  Of course a competent woman losing to an incompetent man is nothing new.  As for me (and more than 60 million others), I still believe she worked her entire adult life for, earned and deserved this one chance to represent us. 

And what about us?  Didn't we deserve better than, best case, a narcissist and international embarrassment, and worst case, a danger to us all?  Our new leader of the free world embodies the definition of a sociopath - extreme antisocial attitudes, a lack of conscience, unchecked egocentricity, ability to lie to achieve one's goals.  I have to hand it to him.  He's good.  He rallied a confederacy of dunces and we will all pay the price. 

It may be as simple as Hanlon's razor.  Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

It's over now and despite my registering to vote for the first time in my life, it didn't matter.  I'm saddened for our country and troubled.  I honestly had no idea so much had changed.  Perhaps I didn't see it before, but the divisiveness is all too clear now.

Our lack of compassion for ALL people is startling, disheartening and frightening.  The social reform progress made in my entire lifetime, and toward catching us up with the rest of the civilized world, could be set back decades.  This awareness may be a Slight. Paltry. Inkling. of what it feels like to be a minority.

I don't know if we're born to be compassionate.  If it's learned, it seems to me, some of us simply didn't.

I'm hoping to wake up one day without this veil of despair hanging over me and feel truly happy again.  But today, I'm going to raise a glass in celebration of 36 years and the best thing that ever happened to me . . . and be grateful.