The Straight and Narrow . . . minded?

The world is not flat, but apparently there was a time when we thought it was.

We don't always understand everything and sometimes we're just wrong.

If you know me very well, you know I've got an opinion on just about everything. Well, that's not what this is - it's not just an opinion. This post has been a long time coming, I suppose.

One of the hot topics in American politics is gay marriage. Perhaps a distraction from real issues like education, the economy, unemployment, healthcare . . .

In the recent NY Senate decision, the last Republican to cast the deciding vote seems to believe his vote places him on the right side of history.

I agree.

I recently posted this photo and the caption that went along with it after the landmark event in NY.

This April 12, 2011 picture provided by Freedom to Marry shows Richard Dorr, 84, left, and John Mace, 91, at their home in New York City where they both work as voice teachers. They have been partners for 61 years, and have been hoping that legislation passes that would enable them to get married in New York. (AP Photo/Freedom to Marry, EqualityPhotography.com, Jamie McGonnigal)

These two men, ages 84 and 91, have been partners since 1950:

1950.

That's . . .

- a decade before I was born

- before the Vietnam War and Sputnik

- when there were only 48 U.S. states

- before Hula Hoops and Barbie

- when the average annual salary was $3,000

- before the polio vaccine and Tupperware

- when a new house cost $8,450

- before I Love Lucy and Gunsmoke

- when a postage stamp was 3¢

- before color TV and integration and interstates . . .

Since 1950.

I believe Mr. Dorr and Mr. Mace deserve the right to make decisions for themselves. And furthermore, to have all the rights afforded every other married couple.

Although gay marriage is legal in some states, most federal benefits and advantages enjoyed by married couples now, are still denied to gay couples due to the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

For example, even with the new NY law, if Mr. Dorr (age 84) outlives Mr. Mace (age 91), estate taxes will be over 50% for Mr. Dorr (it would be zero for me), and hope they don't have to move because that marriage will be null and void (we can move anywhere we like). There's something like 1000 federal benefits that I'm entitled to that Mr. Dorr and Mr. Mace are not.

A recent Gallup poll indicates 53% of Americans are in favor of gay marriage. I wonder if there are those who simply don't have an opinion. Don't feel the need to form an opinion.

Personally, if it has absolutely nothing to do with me, doesn't affect my personal life, isn't costing me anything, I simply don't see how I need to be making decisions for other people.

And when it does affect me personally, I'm not sure the general public can help me.

In Belgium, gay marriage is a non-issue. Legal since 2003. It may surprise you that there have been no plagues or wars or protests. It is a non-issue.

The Netherlands was the first country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage a decade ago. Belgium followed as the second country in 2003, then Spain in 2005 just 17 days ahead of Canada. Currently legal in 10 countries - including parts of the U. S., civil unions and registered partnerships are also legal in about 30 additional countries.

So what happens when gay marriage is legal?

Where we are now is a long way from where we were and I'm grateful. Perhaps the biggest reason is how common it is now to realize we know and love someone who is gay.

You've heard a lot of theories about being gay and although I don't know all there is to know, I do know this . . . if you think being gay is "caused by" or "associated with" some thing or event, or that being gay is a choice a person makes, I'd like to set you straight.

I, for one, know it's as much a choice as your eye color or your height.

Worth repeating.

Being gay is as much a choice as your eye color or your height.

If you don't understand or accept this, it may be because you haven't let yourself. And you may never completely understand, but the only lifestyle they want is very similar to yours . . . to get a good education, maybe buy a house, have a good job, get married, raise children, get a dog, have friends over for dinner . . .

Don't we all deserve the right to choose that lifestyle?

You know, it's not really even about being gay or gay marriage, it's really about equality and fairness and Basic. Human. Rights.