Pigeonhole

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and it is all organized and run by the Swiss.

Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and all of it is organized by the Italians.

Stereotypes. Many Americans (me included) are profoundly ignorant about geography, but by contrast, we sure know the stereotypes for most countries.

While most Europeans don't think all Americans are gun-totin', Bible-thumpin', conservative cowboys, they do find it incredible that many educated Americans don't know where Portugal is, can't speak at least one foreign language, and believe the Earth is 6,000 years old.

Since Europe isn't just one big country like the U.S., it's hard to say what Americans think of Europeans as a group, but with each separate country comes some interesting pigeonholes.

Can you guess the country strictly by these stereotypical words? Grab a pencil and see how you do.

1. tea - biscuits - stiff

2. cold - expensive - vikings

3. drugs - coffee - jungles

4. call centers - slums - everybody owns a little store

5. efficiency - leather pants - industrious

Try a few more?

6. hard workers - raw fish - smart

7. cuisine - wine - rude

8. carnival - logging - football

9. poor - tacos - moustaches

10. tulips - drugs - water

How are you doing so far?

11. hockey - peaceful - mounties

12. neutral - watches - chocolate

13. reggae - dreadlocks - weed

14. lazy - talk too fast - paella

15. drunk men - big women - vodka

Maybe just a few more?

16. beer - waffles - where on earth is that?

17. moose - blondes - IKEA

18. cigars - dictators - beaches

19. little dark men - pasta - mafia

20. kangaroos - outback - mates

And last, but not least . . .

21. fast food - rednecks - opinion about everything

How'd you do?

1. Britain

2. Norway

3. Colombia

4. India

5. Germany

6. Japan

7. France

8. Brazil

9. Mexico

10. Netherlands

11. Canada

12. Switzerland

13. Jamaica

14. Spain

15. Russia

16. Belgium

17. Sweden

18. Cuba

19. Italy

20. Australia

21. I think you probably know that one.

If your score is between 1 and 10, you probably like British food.

If your score is between 11 and 20, you know paella is not an Italian pie.

If your score is 21, you are a bona fide stereotype aficionado.

In the rare chance you really don't know where Portugal is . . .

it's dark yellow on this map - right there by Spain.

And just for the record - the Earth is ~4.5 billion years old.

Belgium, I owe you an apology

I have complained about the weather off and on since we got here. Now, don't get me wrong, it can be pretty depressing with months on end of rain and gray skies, but I can't remember the last time I broke a sweat.

Jim and I were talking about the heat wave in the States, mostly across the South, that may set a new record. I said to Jim that I don't remember it ever being that hot for that many days. He said he definitely remembered when it was. The reason - he was working at the glass plant. I figure that was pretty hot. He even remembered it was 1980.

Well, I googled it and it was indeed in 1980. The year we got married. In Dallas, Texas, the temperature reached 100 degrees a total of 69 days that year including a record 42 consecutive days. Three of those days that year, the temperature was 113 degrees. Today, they should see 110.

Yesterday was our second really warm day here in a while and I was glad to finally be able to go out without a sweater. The high was 83.

So, despite knowing I will probably complain again one of these days when it's been cold, rainy, and gray for 69 consecutive days, I will also be thankful not to break a sweat.

Brave and Blue

We finally filled up our first Smurf-kaartje at the supermarket. And it didn't even take the full €800 ($1,155) to do it either.

Probably closer to €775. Turns out some products offer DOUBLE stempels and we took advantage of it.

Of course that means we now have a lifetime supply of this

and this

But it had to be done.

And now we have this

Gutsy. A new Smurf character for the 2011 movie. He's described as "brave to a fault", wears a Scottish kilt and has the accent to match. Sideburns . . . and for such a young age.

And just a reminder of that great Scottish accent . . .

Homegrown

Do you ever think about something you haven't thought of in years and google it? I did that last week . . .

In the late 90's we lived in Magnolia, Arkansas. Now you might think that's the armpit of America and there was a time when I'd say you're probably right.

When I learned we were moving to Magnolia, I asked Jim to go ahead and move, find a house and I'd make my first visit on moving day. And that's pretty much what happened.

Magnolia has a population of 11,000 and most everybody living there was born there and has no intention of leaving. It has a little college, but not too much more.

Jim was fortunate enough, if you will, to find a couple getting a divorce who wanted to sell their house quickly and we felt like we got a bargain. It had 8 ft ceilings, 7 different wallpapers and 20 yr old rust carpet, but it's the only house we've ever lived in with an in-ground pool and we were pretty excited about that.

Turns out, it was one of the best moves and 3 years we've spent anywhere. Okay, we've liked everywhere we've lived and Magnolia is no exception. Jim enjoyed his work, kayaked and fished. The kids made friends and did well in school. I became an aerobics instructor and worked part-time for a real estate office. Life was good.

At this real estate office is where this story really begins. My job was to answer the phone, make appointments for house showings, and keep the website updated. Besides me, there were 3 realtors and a handy man named Tommy. Tommy had gone to high school with the broker and had always worked for him in some capacity since then. He was just a good old guy who would dig a ditch, change your car battery or pick the kids up at school. Whatever was needed.

Early one morning, I think is was a Saturday, one of the realtors called me and said "Tommy's daughter has been raped and murdered." That's all she knew.

Tommy and his wife had one child and she was 15 years old.

Well, it turned out to be true . . . mostly. She had not been raped, but she had been murdered and it was brutal. This 15 year old girl was pregnant and the boyfriend, who came from a strict and devout family, decided the best - no, the only thing to do was to kill her.

He planned it for weeks, along with his best friend. They even dug a shallow grave together. When the designated day came, he fooled her into thinking they were going for an abortion. She left a note for her parents "not to worry". They drove to an isolated area where he bludgeoned her to death with a pipe and to ensure she was definitely dead, ran over her head with his car.

Bragging to his friends, not more than a few hours later, he was in custody. He was 16 years old. He plead guilty to all of it and received life without parole. And so did his 17 year old friend/accomplice. Life without parole.

The newspaper interviewed the local sheriff at the time of the incident and he alleged that "The boy's stringent religious upbringing and his desire to become a preacher may have pushed him over the edge. A pregnancy would have been the equivalent of 'wearing the scarlet letter."

I simply cannot wrap my head around the fact that these boys thought murder was somehow better than pregnancy and/or an abortion. I will never understand what kind of upbringing would manifest itself into this twisted mentality.

But it did. He never denied this explanation.

Every once in a while I think about all of them. All these years those boys have been in prison. And the next time I think about them, they will still be right there in prison.

And they should be. But what a waste. In a moment of fear, stupidity, immaturity . . . three people lost their lives.

Mostly I thought about Tommy and his wife who have mourned the loss of their only child for 11 years. Life as they knew it ended that day. And the next time I think about them, they will still be mourning that loss.

Strangely enough, my Google search produced a newspaper article from Magnolia, dated last week too. A hearing was held to consider the release of the second boy involved - the "friend" of the boy who actually committed the murder.

Apparently the murderer is attempting to recant his testimony to say his "friend" didn't help him quite as much as he testified to. Cited is a 2010 case in Florida. The Supreme Court ruled if an accomplice was a juvenile at the time of the crime, he should have the possibility for parole.

I can never decide how I feel about things like this. I do believe he is as guilty as the murderer because he helped, but mostly because he knew and could have stopped it. At the same time, he was just a kid . . . and at the same time, Tommy's daughter is dead.

I wonder how Tommy feels about this.

I'm sure I'll think of them again one day and probably google it.

Just looking

This is Antwerp, Belgium

45 min from Leuven

This is Brugge, Belgium

1.5 hrs from Leuven

This is Maastricht, Netherlands

1 hr from Leuven

This is Ghent, Belgium

1 hr from Leuven

This is Brussels, Belgium

30 min from Leuven

This is Leuven, Belgium where Ross lives.

I'm just wondering what the odds are of finding his and Jim's bike.

Maybe as good as . . .

a Brit winning Wimbledon?

a snowball's chance in hell?

seeing the Pope in a Speedo?

I'm gonna go with "all of the above".